-TFC Supervisor: Kori Wagner, MA, LPC
For many new foster parents, the moment they say “yes” to a placement is exciting, emotional, a little surreal — and nerve-racking. What comes next can depend on a few things, the first being time. The first question you should ask yourself is, “How much time do I have to prepare?”
The Necessities
There is a strong likelihood that you do not have all of the information or answers to your questions yet. When a placement is identified, many people may be working behind the scenes — including case managers, TFC workers, family members, school staff, mental health professionals, and now, you — all have various jobs to do. Time is a key component of how preparation for placement goes. While we work diligently to get as much information on the child as possible before placement begins through admissions paperwork, consultation with team members, and coordinating the transition/provider appointments, it’s your responsibility to prepare yourself and your home to welcome a child.
If you have accepted an emergency placement, you know that you could have a child in your home within even a few hours of saying “yes”. Even if placement is planned weeks in advance, it is impossible to be fully prepared, and it’s okay to feel a little anxious. Start with the necessities — Does the child have a clean, comfortable place to sleep? Do they have pajamas and a change of clothes? Do you have options you can offer them with something to eat if they are hungry? Do you have formula, diapers, wipes, and a car seat prepared for infants/toddlers? Do they need toiletries? When you are overwhelmed, start with night one and ask yourself— How do I get them through night one? You can start planning and preparing for your first placement even before a child is identified. Consider keeping a box of extra clothes, toiletries, or appropriate supplies based on your placement preferences.
If you aren’t prepared, that is where we come in. Communicate your needs to the team in order to successfully help a child through their first night in your home. Call us. Text us. We want this placement to be as successful as you do. As scary as it can be for you, the first night is probably even scarier for that child.
Then What?
Keep a list. There will be many things that come up including a ton of questions and new responsibilities (including advocating for that child’s best interest) that essentially have been assigned to you overnight. Keep a list. Ideally, we are meeting you and the child in the home at the time of placement to help answer questions on the fly. If that is not possible, we have expectations to be out to the home to meet with you and the child(ren) within the first couple of days. There is no such thing as too many questions and in fact, if you are not asking questions, that’s when we start to be concerned. It is our job to be in close communication with you over the first few weeks as you and the child(ren) get acclimated to placement. The minimum face-to-face contact we will have with you during a child’s placement is every two weeks, and sometimes it’s more frequent based on your needs or the child’s needs. We want to review your list of questions every time we see you and help you find answers. If we don’t have the answers, we know the steps to find them.
What types of questions should go on “The List”?
Anything. There are no wrong questions when you are learning, especially when the quality of care you provide can have such an important impact on a child. To be more specific, here’s a list of some of the common questions we get asked the first few weeks of placement:
- What trauma does the child have? What do I do if behaviors occur?
- What appointments does the child have? Where are the providers located? What appointments do I need to schedule?
- Does the child have visits with their biological family? Who is the child allowed to talk to and what does that supervision need to look like?
- What information should I be sharing with the biological parents?
By the time you have your first team meeting (within around 30 days of placement), things have settled down enough to understand more of the needs of the child in your care, family/team dynamics, you have started building a relationship with that child, and the new placement anxiety begins to wear off. Next comes the real work — parenting, consistency, structure, and routine. Any seasoned foster parent/professional will tell you- it is the millions of small, trauma-informed, routine interactions that help facilitate change.
Let us help guide you through the process of becoming a foster parent and accepting your first placement. Learn more about our program at https://www.norriscenter.org/course/tfc/
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